Staying the Course – Even when You Want to Burn it All Down

Staying the Course

There’s a concept that keeps coming up for me – and my clients – around “staying the course.” That’s an oldie but a goodie. It means to trust the process, stay the course and route you have planned, and don’t just burn everything down because of a hiccup or misstep

If you’re like me, you know that on frequent occasions, you get overwhelmed at the process. You put in all this work and it’s not going fast enough. It’s not as easy as you anticipated

Luckily, I’m really good at finding shortcuts and ways to do things faster and more efficiently. As a matter of fact, I’m a “3” on the KOLBE Follow Through, which means this is one of my superpowers!  This can be a little tricky if you’re someone like me but it’s not so great who doesn’t always trust the process. I’m personally in the middle of a mindset coaching certification program.  It’s intense, to say the least. This coaching is pushing me to new levels – last week alone, the overwhelm from all of the newness and resistance to “trusting the process”  made me want to “burn it all down” on more than one occasion.  Now, in hindsight,  I’m of course glad I didn’t. 

Learning from the Process

Today, I had a really big breakthrough. One of the modules we’re working through in mindset coaching is learning to be better coaches. And that was incredible. That breakthrough came at the right moment. It reminded me…stay the course and trust the process. That discomfort I often feel around my processes doesn’t mean things aren’t going well. Instead, It means that I need a bit more time over here to perfect or I need a longer deadline over there to allow completion. Here and there, things needed to be given a little grace. But that DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PROCESS DOESN’T WORK. Instead, it means that I’m learning.

I’m seeing that same theme with my coaching clients. It’s come up in lots of different ways for people, and so, I’m giving that guidance that worked for me. I need to trust the process for now; it’ll all work out the way it needs to. Even if that means: it didn’t technically work out, but it was worth the road bump. Because at the end of the day, I learned a new skill. 

 

Looking at Accomplishments

So, when I say to myself, I did all this and nothing is changing, I try to pause and say, wait. What have I really accomplished? Seeing where I’ve come is so invigorating for me. When I embark on a journey, whether it’s signing up for a course or coaching program, I like to assign goals. I ask, WHAT IS THE GOAL OF THIS? It’s so important to set goals, so we can determine upfront what we want to achieve. I often want to achieve something that feels like growth. I bet most people do. 

The way that I make sure I’m growing, moving forward, is I use metrics. That way, when it feels like I’m going backward, I can check my metrics. Measuring can give me a clear idea of my starting point and where I’ve come. It shows me those accomplishments that I’ve made over time and how I’ve been able to scale up in so many ways. 

That gives me such reassurance that the process is working – and if it’s not as fast as I’d like, it’s still forward movement. That’s what confirms I need to stay the course and trust the process. 

Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset

Another piece of the process I really want to discuss is having some fear around, Am I doing what everyone is doing? Recently, I asked myself, Why did I JUST NOW begin market research? My coaching clients have been doing this for months.

 I often let myself feel ‘behind’ when I spiral like this. I start to think, I’ll never find my dream client because everyone else has already found them. With this insecurity around ‘starting late’, there are a few things happening here at a deeper level. First, I’m clearly going through a phase of scarcity mindset instead of remaining in an abundance mindset. It’s easy for scarcity and fear to creep back in. 

You may be feeling a scarcity mindset right now too, but that’s not reality. To give myself a reality check – and this should work for you too – I look back on where I was 6 months ago. Half a year ago, I had no idea why the people in my FB communities were asking those questions. Now, not only do I understand that methodology, but I’ve also seen it through a different lens. I learned along with those community members. 

Just because I am – or you are – in the thick of it and it seems like the whole world is doing the same work you’re doing, that’s not often the case. Instead, you’re offering what’s unique to you and your services.

And just when I felt a little down about being ‘just like everyone else,’ a member in the UpLevel Lounge asked a question that sparked an idea for another tool I could build out into a training. Without expecting it, I stumbled across a new and novel idea. I ended up recording a training and creating a cool framework around that new idea. 

Lean on Your Business Bestie

On that note – of new ideas and new offerings – this is why business besties are so important. This person calls you out, pokes holes (in a good way) in the far fetched ideas you bring to the table, and challenges you to come to the table as your best self. I was talking to my biz bestie regarding this new offering – and admittedly, the insecurity I was feeling around market research – and she said such thoughtful words to me. She said, I watched you and listened to you while you were telling me these ideas. Your eyes lit up, and you were expressing your beliefs around these ideas, even if you weren’t trying to. 

Having her in my life has been so valuable; she’s kept me grounded in ways I couldn’t quite give to myself. She’ll ask, is that really your experience? Is that what everyone is seeing from you, Melissa? She definitely provides food for thought. 

Now, back to the mindset piece. We all need to become aware of limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. And yes, we all have them. But becoming aware of them is the battle in itself. Having them doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, you identifying those beliefs shows progress. 

When you identify them, you may also identify that there’s a pattern currently existing for you. Are the limiting beliefs coming from attracting and sustaining the wrong types of prospects? With this situation, you may need to weed those people out. All of this is to say, when you have limiting beliefs, question what’s making you uncomfortable and address it head-on. We can grow from these experiences, we can reframe, and we can ask questions that get us answers.

Evolving & Growing

That’s exactly how my coaching evolved. I was able to uncover things at a deeper level and say, okay, this is interesting. For example, I had a client that I took on last year that had a few red flags during the intake form and on the discovery call. You know what? She ended up being the exact negative client I didn’t want in my business. So, that taught me a lot. Trust the questioning. Come from a place of a positive and abundant mindset, ensuring you don’t take on any client, just because it’s revenue.

Now, having had that experience, I know what client I DON’T WANT. I even re-read his intake form a few weeks ago, and hello, it was eye-opening. It was powerful and insightful. 

You know, we don’t always have all the answers up front. We don’t know things until we learn them. And I’m happy to share these experiences with you. There are so many times that I see people in my communities coming up with the same issues and insecurities, which gives me even more fuel to share my journey. If you feel stuck, it’s okay to feel stuck. You just need to know where to go to get unstuck.  You need people who will lift you up and walk you through it, and that may even be yourself.

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